An open letter for the person who unconditionally loved me

10 Nov

Your message just made me burst into tears. And as I am writing you this, they just wont stop. sorry for everything. I don’t know when I’d be able to forgive myself. Really.

This letter might not be as constructed as you expect it to be coz I’m just writing from what I’m feeling so bear with me.

I still remember me bumping into your station, us going places in search of things we both crave for, us travelling to anywhere we desire.. everything. Now, I don’t have that one person who’s always there. It’s like losing my brother, losing my bestfriend, losing my otherhalf. And it’s heartbreaking. It breaks me but I need to let you go, coz if I don’t, you won’t find that person you deserve. Honestly, I still think that you’re my other soul, my counterpart. I’m still wondering if we’ll ever be the same again. If I’ll be able to bring back everything that made me who I am before, that worthy person who’s same as you. I am not proud of myself, that’s the truth. That’s why I always take the blame for anything and everything that’s making you feel bad, sad, depressed. It’s like I always get scarred for every hurtful truth or not ,that you speak of me. And as I told you, I can’t take that anymore. The thought of it recurring is draining me. I know that some of it you really mean, and some you don’t. But still, they hurt.

I don’t want to say goodbye, but rather see you again. And I hope that when we do, you’ll still see that girl you fell for. That I still have that smile that spells happiness, that cheer that puts a smile on your face, and that enthusiasm and wit that you love. Everyday, I’ll think of how you are, who’s with you, are you better, who’s taking care of you. I know that you’ll find someone better than me, even if it’s not now, but you will. As for me, I don’t think that I’d be able to find someone who’s better than you. I’m gonna say this again, YOU ARE ONE IN A MILLION. And I am this stupid to let you go, that I know.

You take care and if you need me, please remember that I am here for you. I will miss our smart conversations, our silly jokes, our surf trips, our local and out of the country travels, your family and pamangkins, YOU. I’ll miss EVERYTHING. But I know that this difficult decision will somehow unravel a better day for us both. And I am looking forward to that.

Though it seems like I’m always the one who leaves you, even if you don’t believe it, you are always here in my heart. And no one will ever take your place in it.



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